Being Christians-- Cebuano's Quandary Over a Catholic School's High School Graduation

There never has been a high school graduation in the history of Cebu that has become so controversial and perplexing religiously and legally than that of St. Theresa's College High School graduation last March 30, 2012. Perplexing... well at least to me.

The Catholic school was sued by the mother of one of the five of the high school graduating class for banning the students from joining in the graduation rites. The ban was imposed as penalties for breaking serious school rules provided in their student handbook.  According to reports the said students were found guilty of posting photos of their bikini clad bodies on their Facebook accounts with alcohol and cigarette in the mix. The photos, as claimed by the student's father in one of the reports, were taken during the birthday party of one of the five students held at some beach resort in Lapu-lapu City.

A day before the graduation rites, the court issued a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) to the school to cease and desist imposing the penalty and to allow the students to march. The school, however, stood their ground and refused the students and their parents entrance to the school.

Now the school will most likely face some legal debacle on top of the civil suit filed by one of the parents for blatantly ignoring an order from a court of law.

The controversy had sprung a lot of views and rhetoric from all those who cared to voice their opinion.  Some rose to the defense of the school while others strongly denounce the actions of the administration. A lot took pity on the students while others could not help but think that they brought it on themselves for their alleged indiscretion and irresponsibility. There are also those who are inclined to blame the parents for what happened before Facebook happens.

These and more arguments and views were expressed in and out of those embroiled in this controversy. Taking a stand on this issue without appearing to be too hypocritical or too permissive is not easy. But, no matter what they say, theirs one point of argument that all parties call to their defense--the Christian and un-Christian way. An argument so "multi-pronged" that oftentimes you find yourself arguing against your own defense. So trying not to take sides, here is my take on the issue:

The School.

As a Catholic school it is St. Theresa's College's sacred Christian duty to act as guide for the students who come to them to learn and to be molded in Christian teachings.  Establishing policies and  a code of good behavior and imposing disciplinary actions for transgressions against such a code is expected and within their right. With all sorts of threats to a rightful Christian way of life in our modern world... Christian institutions such as these should strive harder and more vigilant in guarding what those values and principles that true Christians ought to have. Instilling discipline and prohibiting students from doing something that is contrary to Christian teachings to the extent of exacting punishment by any Christian school is imperative. The school, I expect, is not doing it out of mere pride in protecting its reputation. A drop of blood does not make the whole ocean red, after all. The intention, I believe was to impress upon the minds of the young the seriousness of their alleged actions. An action that, in their youth, seems to be harmless entertainment. As was often said, sometimes one needs to be cruel in order to be kind--and at times you need to protect those who are intrusted in your care even from their own folly.

As reports go, the extent of the students are punishment ends with them being banned from the graduation rites. However, they are still considered graduates and can proceed on to college.
The thing here is that, when you enroll in a certain school you have not only agreed to submit yourself to its academic teachings but as well as the development of your own person in accordance to the standards set by the school of your choice. Then you are expected to exhibit a certain kind of behavior and action that identifies you as one with the school. It is like taking multiple subjects and pass all of them except for one. Now with that failing subject, you cannot claim to have sufficient knowledge of it, therefore you will not be entitled to any rights and privileges that goes with passing that subject. This situation is no different, the students have actually pass all the academics that makes them eligible to proceed with whatever academic pursuit they would want after high school. But there's one thing they have failed. They failed to live by the behavioral standards required for those students who deserve the right the privilege to proudly accept their diploma in front of those people present as witnesses of the triumph of the young "Theresians". The school reserves all the rights to set standard, steadfastly guard against deterioration of that standard and deny those that they have found seriously lacking. That is not un-Christian.

However, Christian teachings also taught us compassion and forgiveness. It calls us to be fair, to mete out offenses with just punishment equivalent to the degree of the violation. But as an outsider, I cannot rightfully determine whether this punishment is just or excessive. Only those parties involved can rightfully judged the appropriateness of what's been given out.

The Parents.
Identifying with the predicament of their children, they too have the right to assert and fight, for whatever it's worth, the rights of their children that they believed had been unjustly violated. It is but natural for them to also stand for what they believed was rightfully theirs to claim.

In this case, they have come to the aid of their children who they believed committed only the slightest of  errors that no compassionate person or institution should be able to mete out with a punishment that will have a lasting psychological effect as being refused to stand in proudly to accept the fruits of long years of toil and obedience to the school that they regarded as an important extension of their family. It hurts when people readily judged you for one mistake, but it hurts more when those people whom you trusted, whom you believed will understand you better than anyone else and whom you believed will have more compassion, turn their backs at the most important moment of your life. Just when you needed them most. Or the life of their children in this case. To these parents, that one time of youthful folly and harmless entertainment thus, need a serious repercussions for the children but not to the extent of nullifying everything that these children achieved and learn from those they have intrusted to mold and care for them. And refusing these children the privilege of joining with their peers in celebrating the culmination and success of their years of hard work thus seem to nullify previous good behavior.

The Court.
Well, I don't really have much to say for I am not familiar with the workings of the legal system. I have however one question regarding the temporary restraining order (TRO). It does seem to me that the TRO has not become temporary but an order against the school without first having really totally deliberated the case. A some sort of verdict, without the actual hearing. Why? We'll I don't know. It's just that the graduation is a one time event. Issuing the TRO and ordering the school to let the student join without the actual hearing of the merits of the school's actions undermines the rights of the school. So what if after the hearings, position papers, and whatever that is that needs to be done for the court to come up with a decision and close the case, it decided in favor of the school. What then will happen, if the court had previously ordered for the children to join in the ceremony? Can the previous order be reversed knowing that, that graduation happens only once? 

On the other hand, however, if there was no TRO given and the students, were as what happened, barred from joining the ceremony and then the court decided that the children really does have the right to walk and received their diplomas on the school's stage. Can the court order the school to have another graduation just to let these children have what was previously denied of them? And would it still be essentially the same for the children? This may sound idiotic, and I do feel somewhat like and idiot running this round and round my mind.
But then, isn't it just a little bit idiotic to resolve something as abstract as the concept of morals, compassion and humility under the premise of logic, hard facts and undeniable evidence in the court of law as imperfect as we humans who made them are?

The Students.
For the students, I don't exactly know what they've been through. I don't read or hear any direct quotes from them from the reports. However, I have to say this. Life is not fair. Live with it but strive to be just. We often make mistakes, that is another fact of life. Learn from it, move on and prove to no one else but yourself that you are bigger than your mistakes and become better than you already are.
 

Most of all, know that God do not judge as harshly as people does.  As a line from the famous poem Desiderata goes, "Be gentle with yourself.. and Strive to be happy"

My Love Affair With Innodata Part2

"...In the greater scheme of things, however, what I have become because of Innodata--the wonderful journey of becoming in Innodata's fold--far outweighs any pain that I had suffered. In fact, pain is all a part of those wonderful romance, that I, when given another opportunity would willingly embrace again."  
So I said in my blog of this title--minus the Part2 part--posted on February 3, 2009. Written due to some serious bout of nostalgia, I had never thought then that I would again find myself in Innodata's instructing embrace a few months later. May of the same year, I was taken in again by my beloved. And yet again, December of 2010-- I left.
When asked by a friend why I left when it is obvious that I love that company so much; all I can say is that sometimes you need to distance yourself from those that you love so that you can give them more. Ironic huh? But that's true. 
Moving around gives you a lot of perspective. A lot more points of reference on how you see, evaluate and understand things.
But this time, I have actually not move around. I stayed put, waiting. Waiting for the right time to return...to connect again. And I did not wait long.
A couple of months after that I have returned.  In a different name... but connecting to the same beloved Innodatans. This time the experience is more demanding but definitely from more instructive. 

The second chapter of this love affair was teaching me, among other things, on how to deal with attitude's you least like or hated even. You avoid them like the plague. You shake your head. You hold back. And you run. Just to avoid these type of people.
But sometimes fate do this to you.You are pushed to the wall, where all you can do is close your eyes for a few moments, take a deep breath then face it head on. You have to endure it in order to learn and deal with your own fears. And dealing with it, I did. Can you imagine being told that you make up stories in your mind and believed it--just because you are viewing things very differently than this person does! Hey, what am I, a nut case?!? Another major part of that among other things in the teaching department is acceptance plus forgiveness. Accept the attitude...period. Forgive malicious intent with no conditions.
Leaving strengthens the learning. It does, for me... always! Right now I am where I need to be. To experience, to endure, to learn. But most of all... this time I should keep my eyes on the joys of working. Find happiness in the job I often enough lost sleep over. Happiness and a sense of fulfillment do, without a doubt, see you through any plague
...Or else ... you'll be reading part 3 of where I spend the biggest chunk of my career, sooner than I intend to. :D  

Of Respect and Disagreements

A quote from one of the books i recently slept on read...

"You think I can't disagree with you, passionately, come to that, and care for you? Respect you, admire you, even knowing inside my heart you're wrong about the thing we're arguing over? The same I wager, as inside yours I believe I'm wrong. I'm not, but that's another matter. If everyone has to believe the same, if there's never passionate differences, how do people come together in your world?"

Well, respect, I believe, happens only when both are as honest as they are passionate in expressing what they believe in...

A Tired and Weary Heart

Ever since I was young, I am always drawn to people with all sorts of problems. People come to me for help, advice and even compassionate scolding. Growing up I have become a shoulder to cry all--a comfort sort to the aching hearts and mind of my friends. I welcome all of them willingly, embraced them, even love them openly.  This I have come to accept as a gift.

At a young age I learned that being able to give is always better than receiving. That self sacrifice for the good of others is the noblest act of love. After all, we have no less than Christ as our role model.

It has, however, come to a point where loneliness gets the better of me. The giving of emotional comfort without enough reservoir of your own to shield you from personal misfortunes can really take its toll. This and the cynicism that grips the heart of most people. 

We have become so cynical that the essence of kindness and giving are lost to us. So cynical that we even forget how beautiful originally all of us are inside. We have devalued our own worth that we often raised a skeptical eyebrows when we were being given.
 


In these days, an act of kindness is often viewed as a means to an end. If you give, people would view it as either you want to impress others or that you just wanted to buy your way in. I should know, someone told me in no uncertain terms, just that. It hurts. It especially hurt because I have chosen this person to be my mentor. After that, I'm back at keeping my own counsel.

Somehow it would never occur to them--oftentimes, not even the very recipient of the act--that the one who gives, honestly believe that this person deserves a little ray of sunlight even for just a moment. Personally, I give because other people's smile and laughter enriches me more in as much as their aches pain me.  If at some point I have said, "Why are you hurting me like this when all I did was love you with all that I am?" Am I not entitled to express such pain, when I am truly hurt? Does saying that, makes the giving less meaningless to you? Yeah, I guess, if you are so blinded by your own guilt--that is. If a parent tells a child of his that has gone bad, "Why are you doing this? Why don't you listen to me? Is that the way you're going to repay me for all the hard work that I have done so that you can have a good life?" Does that sound like the parent have ulterior motive in giving his child everything that he had? Will that degrade all the things that he had given his child?

This had burned me that for a time, I stop myself from reaching out and offer whatever there is that I can offer. I was lost, not because I am cynical but because I can sense the mistrust that seeps through the heart of others. I held myself back from giving because I did not want people to besmirch something that is pure.

However, we can only repress what we are for much too long.


I love people. Love caring for them. And when I gain back some of my putting. I give. And when I'm about to gain my confidence back, I banged my head up at a brick wall. I am told I'm just buying my way in. Oh, it was said nicely. Some glittering sashes and trimmings. But the message boils down to, I can't be that way because no one is as unselfish as that.


Well, I admit, I am not totally out of selfish interest, but hey, I'm trying and I won't stop. After all, if man is truly not capable of being selfless, Christ wouldn't have bothered showing us how to do it.

So this time I have stood my ground. I give, and if others came up with all sorts of ulterior motives for it. Then by all means, let them believe it. Its not my problem.

On second thought, if you really can't get the very people you have opened your heart with to believe the purity of your intentions, what then is the value of being kind? Wouldn't it be best if we will just do as everyone  else does? Put kindness and giving for sale to the highest bidder. I mean to people who can deliver the greatest ROI.

But then again, that is were humanity's problem lie.

Disconnected

Hello dear folks! I know its been a while since you've read me online. Maybe you've seen my avatars doing some round on my farm and my pet went fishing, well that's not me. And please don't get offended if the avatars ignore you. My farm hand and the caretaker of my pet is quite a snob. She felt entitled by the way--she is planting not trees in farm town but mansion, although i am told that mansions are no longer the most expensive building around Town.

My caretaker also finds it within her right to invest in Restaurant City. She is using my name as a dummy for her chain of restaurants, so again if you've seen and been ignored by my avatar, don't mind it. She meant no ill well. It's just that my caretaker abhors the role of being my PR officer. I still need to hire one for that.

The hardest part is leaving my mafia family for so long. My caretaker also does not care for the darker side of my business. I also need to hire some thugs for that. Anyone interested, just say hi.

Ooops need to take some rest now, it will be the doctor's advise come Monday--but I'm hoping its just rest that I need and nothing more serious than that. Doctor's advise or not, I still hope this is a start of another round of thoughts from me. I have so much more to say, so many thoughts to share and mostly because I am currently working for 2 of the best guys I ever meet in my journey along the corporate corridors.